now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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