one two three fourrrrnication!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
