i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize