I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
