your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I need help removing her.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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