his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
