Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
His hands were made for my vagina.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
