Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
false alarm. still invincible.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
