are you still at the devil's house?
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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