Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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