You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
