He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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