Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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