Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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