so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
