Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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