It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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