K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
