I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
