I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
