literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
