I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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