Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
