i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize