I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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