so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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