I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
