In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
