I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
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