dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
