Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize