she woke up with a sticky ear
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize