bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize