Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
