i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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