so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
