Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
