She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
