So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
