I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
