It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
