Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
His hands were made for my vagina.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
