Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
