don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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