you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
foreskin is a definite game changer
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
