I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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