My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
