i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
