Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
