thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
