im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
