Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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