You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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