I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
