I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
