what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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