He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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