Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
