I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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